By Andy, founder
Starting to date again after a divorce or the loss of a partner can feel strange, hopeful and daunting all at once. There is no right time and no rulebook. Walking is a gentle way to meet someone new, because it is relaxed, unhurried and easy to take at your own pace. Here are some kind, practical thoughts to help you decide what feels right.
How do I know when I'm ready to date again?
There's no set time you should wait, whatever friends or family might say. Some people feel ready within months, others take years. A good sign is when you feel curious about meeting someone new for who they are, rather than needing to fill a gap or prove something.
If you're not sure, that's fine. You could create a profile and simply look around for a while. You don't have to message anyone until you want to. You are in charge of the pace.
Is it normal to feel guilty or nervous?
Yes, very. Many people feel guilty, sad or out of practice, especially after losing a partner. Dating may have changed since you last did it, and it's fine to learn as you go. Be gentle with yourself. You can feel excited and sad on the same day, and neither feeling cancels out the other.
You are not replacing anyone. You are making room for something new, and the past stays part of your story.
Why is walking a gentle way to meet someone?
- There's no pressure. You walk side by side, so you don't need to look at each other all the time.
- You can set the pace. Short, slow and easy is perfectly fine.
- There's always something to talk about. The view, the weather, the next bend in the path.
- It's good for you. Fresh air and gentle exercise can lift your spirits.
- It's easy to end. You can head back whenever you like.
Our first walk date ideas are all short and easy, and many of them suit someone who is getting back into walking.
What should I say about my past?
You don't need to tell your whole story on the first walk. A short, honest line is enough: "I was married for twenty years" or "I lost my husband a few years ago." Most people will appreciate the honesty, and many will have a story of their own.
Try to keep early conversations mostly about now: what you enjoy, where you like to walk, what you're looking forward to. There will be time for the rest as you get to know each other. If a subject feels too raw, it's okay to say, "I'd rather not talk about that yet."
What about family and friends?
Grown-up children, friends and in-laws can have mixed feelings about you meeting someone new. That's understandable, but it's your life. Share as much as you feel comfortable with. There's no need to introduce anyone until things feel settled. Some people find it helpful to tell one trusted friend, who can also be the person who knows where you're going on a first walk.
What if I'm out of practice?
Everyone is a bit rusty to begin with. Our guide to writing a hiking dating profile takes you through it step by step: honest words, a few clear photos and a mention of the walks you love. There's no need for anything fancy. Being yourself is enough.
How can I keep first meetings simple and safe?
- Choose a short, familiar walk. An hour on a well-known path is ideal.
- Meet somewhere public. A car park, station or visitor centre is busy and easy to find.
- Tell a friend. Share where you're going, who with, and when you'll be back.
- Go somewhere new to you both. A place without old memories lets you focus on the present.
- Check the weather and wear comfy, sensible footwear.
Our guide to dating safely on walks goes through all of this in more detail, and the safety page explains the tools on the site.
What might a first walk look like?
Keep it light. You might meet at a car park by a lake or a riverside path, walk for an hour, share a hot drink from a flask and say goodbye with a smile. Agree the length beforehand, so neither of you feels you have to stay longer than you want. If you enjoyed it, you can say so. If you'd like to think about it, you can say that too. A kind, honest message afterwards is always welcome.
Can I just make friends first?
Of course. Some people prefer to start with friendship, and many good relationships begin that way. Say so in your profile, for example "looking for a walking friend, and happy to see where it goes". Honest words attract people who want the same thing, and take the pressure off both of you.
What if it doesn't go well, or it's too soon?
That's okay. If a date doesn't feel right, or you find you're not ready after all, you can step back at any time. Nobody is keeping score. You might decide to take a break and come back later, or to make friends first. Walking companions can be a gift in themselves.
Where can I find people who understand?
Many people on Go Hiking Dating are in their 50s, 60s and beyond, and many have been through similar experiences. Our post on dating in your 50s, 60s and beyond has more ideas for getting started. You can browse the walking areas near you and read about how the site works at your own pace.
If you are finding things hard after a loss, talking to someone can help. Your GP can point you towards local bereavement support.
When you feel ready, there's a growing community of people who love the outdoors waiting to say hello. Create your profile, take it slowly, and enjoy the fresh air. No card needed to create your profile.
- later-life
- divorce
- advice
